dear boy,

I wanted you so badly. You came into my life when my esteem was low, hopes were down, and spirit was exhausted. You brought me higher in life in so many ways I can’t explain, and still the mere reminisce of our times instantaneously draws a smile to my face. I miss you. I miss you more than you’re able to comprehend. I knew what I was getting myself into, I knew I was going to get hurt, I knew this was going to suck. Somehow, somewhere in the future, I want to be with you. I want to be with you, with no boundaries of distance separating us. I just want to love you, I want to just be held by you, kissed on the forehead agian, and feel like I’m beautiful again whenever I’m with you. I know you’re hurt, I know things are changing too fast for you, but just remember I will always be here for you. I will wait for you, whenever you turn around and come running back, I’ll be here with open arms and tearing eyes. Thanks for everything you’ve done. My summer wouldn’t have been the same without you, for that, I’m eternally grateful.

charles,

I tell you all the time, but I really do mean it- Thanks for being so good to me. Thanks for always laughing at my lame jokes. Thanks for always kissing me back whenever I attack you. Thanks for always reciprocating little gestures of affection, like tickling me whenever I tickle you :) Thanks for always being down to smoke with me, always throwing down, and for just being so generous all the time in general. Thanks for being so nice to my friends, like that time you fixed the metal clasp on Laila’s purse when it broke off, when you spent an hour away from your roommate’s party to make Ally a fake id. Thanks for kissing me in front of your friends despite how much you hate PDA. Thanks for always being honest with me, I know you don’t want a relationship, but I know you really care about me. Thanks for bringing me around your best friends, and making me feel special when I meet them for the first time and they say, “Charlie talks about you all the time”. Thanks for not just wanting to fuck me, and texting me at 9am inviting me to longboard with you and the boys. That time we sat on my couch and I told you that you could hook up with any other girls if you wanted to, and you laughing, saying thanks but I’m happy right now and kissing me on the forehead- thanks for that. Thanks for coming up to my college with me to spend a weekend and meet all of my college friends. Thanks for checking your phone compulsively and screaming “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FUCK YES I’M THE FIRST ONE!” at midnight. Thanks for making me feel so beautiful, even at my worst. Thanks for being so fucking great in the sack. Thanks for listening to my ridiculous philosophical rants when I’m really fucked up. Thanks for taking care of me that one time I got too fucked up at Cecil’s. Thanks for being so goddamn sweet all the time for no reason at all. I wake up in the mornings with a huge stupid smile on my face not knowing how I ever got so lucky. I know we leave for college in 2 weeks, and we’ll be apart in different cities, living our own separate lives, but despite what happens, I’m already so grateful. I’m so happy whenever you’re around, and I’m not sure what that means, but regardless, I’m so happy to have had someone like you walk in my life regardless of how long you stay. Thanks so much :) and I can’t wait to spend another day with you tomorrow:)